Assault with a Weapon, to wit, an Ice Cream Sundae

I subscribe to a listserve through the Criminal Lawyers Association that discusses a wide range of topics in criminal law. Most of these topics are rather esoteric and not particularly interesting if you are not a criminal lawyer; however, a thread was recently started up about the various items clients have been charged with using as "weapons".

When someone is charged with assault with a weapon, the information usually reads something to the effect of:

"John Smith stands charged that on or about the 4th day of June in the City of Toronto did assault Mary Smith with a weapon, to wit a (INSERT WEAPON HERE)”

Under the Criminal Code, a "weapon" means:

any thing used, designed to be used or intended for use

(a) in causing death or injury to any person, or

(b) for the purpose of threatening or intimidating any person and, without restricting the generality of the foregoing, includes a firearm;

So that being said, here is a list of things that lawyers have claimed their clients have been charged with using as "weapons", the "to wits":

Piggy Bank
Rubber Boot
Spatula
Broccoli (overcooked)
English Cucumber (reported case of Regina v. Robinson from the Ont. Court of Appeal)
Palm Tree
Hot Cheese Sandwich
...
[REALLY I AM NOT MAKING THESE UP!]
...
Pizza
Tea
Orange
Jelly Beans
Dead Chihuahua (Link to this can be found here)
Cell Phone
Etch-a-Sketch
Hamburger Bun (held for a bail hearing)

And perhaps my favourite: to wit, a Trout

SR.